Nearly fatal (gratitude #7)

Seemed fatal at the time (gratitude #7) by you.

Some content may not be suitable for young children!  And, I also use the word turd in the following story….

The other day, Nate point blank asked Brian and I if Santa was real.  Really, I was amazed it had taken this long.  We put him off with this statement “Well Nate, we believe in Santa.”  That lasted for a few short hours, and then at bedtime when I was tucking him in, he asked me again for reals.  And I knew the moment had come,  that my youngest child really wanted the truth.  So, I told him.  All the while sobbing on the inside.  He was quiet for a second and then he asked this question, “So, did you and Dad give me the white tuxedo last Christmas?”  I really wanted to lie and say “Heck no honey – that was totally Santa!”  But I told him the truth.  He got really still and then declared “I don’t want anything for Christmas this year!”  He looked like he had been punched in the stomach.  by.  me.  His mom, the one who is supposed to care for him, and be truthful with him, and protect him.  I felt like a turd!  A big steaming pile of cow splat!  I was left holding the bag (again*).  The bag that contained the broken truth, the shards of the smoke and mirrors that just a few minutes ago had been intact, and the sharp pointed thorns of my son’s anger and disillusionment.  I tried to pacify him by saying that even though Santa is not real we still believe entirely in the spirit of Santa Claus.

But amazingly the next morning he woke up kind of puffed up and proud.  He was now one of the big guys.  He was in on the secret.  And get this……He started making suggestions about how we should hide the presents, and all the best tricks Santa would use……in other words he wants to help continue the magic….and boy am I grateful that I didn’t fatally kill the magic.

*I’m holding this bag too – the one that contains 95% of the birds and bees conversations!

16 Comments Add yours

  1. MichelleB says:

    Such a sad day. Handled extremely well by both of you.

  2. Diane says:

    Aw, what a great story! I’m glad it didn’t kill the magic, too! I’m glad he recovered the next day to want to make more magic for someone else! Well done. If you have any pointers about those bird and bee conversations I’d love to hear those… they loom on my horizon… ((shivers))

  3. ellen kelley says:

    I will mention here that you are a spectacular mother and that I truly know, from such a distance, that you have an amazing, loving and wonderful family. We do go on from stories that promote giving, surprise, love and caring…and fun…stories that sometimes are just stories..aka made up.
    We go on to a be those secret persons who just “plop” some goodness sometimes…and we do recover as children who believed in the unbelievable. I still choose to do that..xo.

  4. Ayama says:

    wow, for nate to have such a good attitude about the big boy secret is amazing. it is a reflection of both his parents. we are just starting the wonder of christmas here, it will be sad when it ends.

  5. I am so choked up and teary on this one. But I am glad that it did have a happy ending. What an awful feeling you must have had seeing him so crushed like that. I am glad, however, that he is willing to make the proverbial lemonade out of those lemons.

    And on the birds and bees comment………..ROFL. Too funny!

  6. OH, and I LOVE that photograph. That should TOTALLY be on your family Christmas card this year.

  7. simpledaisy says:

    What a great story and I love the photo!!! Children always bring magic to everything even if they no longer believe in Santa!!! Take care….

  8. jacquie says:

    what? there’s no santa claus. ***sob***

  9. wow, i felt like i was punched in the tummy, too. and my eyes watered up. i love the end of the story, tho, because santa is for reals! (love the photo!)

  10. As my children grow up, I discover that I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the whole parenting thing. It’s hard. And then to feel like you have dashed their dreams by simply being honest is heart wretching!
    I am certainly glad he came out of this seemingly unscathed, but if he doesn’t, you can feel free to use my famous line…..”You’ll just have to work it out in therapy!” :):):)

  11. Nancy says:

    This really touches my heart. You handled it all very well–of course. Caroline is wondering if Jerry is Santa (they have the same handwriting and like the same treats). I was and am hoping we can get to the fifth grade like Nate until much else is said. So far, she thinks there probably is a Santa.

  12. Lil' d says:

    Well, I’m pretty upset to be finding out like this that Father Christmas is not real, but it is a huge weight off my mind. I always thought that I must have been REALLY naughty for Santa to have stopped visiting me when I was 11.

    It does explain why he liked whisky at my house, yet brandy at my best friend’s…

  13. Patricia says:

    So sweet that Nate held on for so long to his belief in Santa–what magical Christmases you must have created for your boys over the years. I had that talk with my son last year, and he was pleased to have his suspicions confirmed and happy that the presents would still arrive.

    You and My Purple Crayon have convinced me that twinkly lights are the way to go this Christmas.

  14. threesneakybugs says:

    Love the symbolism of the chalk outline in Christmas lights. Wish the magic of Santa could last forever. Sorry you both had to deal with it, but happy for you that you have such a well adjusted flexible boy. Me? My grandma told me. Shattering my world as I didn’t ask and up until that point completely clueless. Apparently, she thought I was too old to continue the charade. This makes her sound worse than she was. Well, except at that moment.

  15. Nancy says:

    I took another look at the lights and JUST GOT IT!!! I didn’t see a body the first time. Age!!!

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