Blue…….

Today we took Marshall to the airport for his 10 day trip to Spain.  He is going with two other students, a parent, and his Spanish teacher.  Such an exciting experience for him, but now I’m feeling blue, blue, blue…..  This is a real milestone towards his independence and a giant step towards his leaving our little nest in two years.  Now several hours after taking him to the airport I want to burst into tears.   But you can see by this earlier photo below, Marshall on the left, his buddy Tanner on the right, that he is so excited and can’t wait for us to leave so he can embark on this trip of a lifetime!

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And there they go heading to the security checkpoint, and as I type this right now he is somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean.

Then there is Everett who is now technically a freshman, and Nate who just lost his last baby tooth the other day.  The summer days looming before us, and me feeling lost and stranded, unable to come up with things to fill our days with adventure and discovery.  Because we’ve done so many of those things when they were younger and they don’t hold the same magic as they once did.   But once I make it to the other side of the blueness we will figure it out.  Mostly I plan to soak up this remnant of time, because that’s what it feels like – a scrap of fraying time, and get to know them all over again.  That’s the gift of summer time I think!

But I have a few days to work these things out in my heart and my head, because Brian and I leave for our annual anniversary bike trip tomorrow.  We have been trying to have a date for over 3 months now.  So it’s probably time for us to reconnect.  After all, at the rate things are transpiring, it soon will be just the two of us rattling around the house.   It might be wise for us to get to know each other again.  It would be kind of scary for us to look at each other in the not too distant future and to be thinking who the hell are you?

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Will be catching up with all of you next week!  Hope you have a good one!

17 Comments Add yours

  1. melinda says:

    I’m sorry.
    I think it sounds like you are processing everything appropriately though; IMHO I think shipping a child across the ocean should induce angst in any loving mother as well as churn up abandonment issues? Gwaaaah, don’t listen to me, I know nothing.

    Have much fun with the bikes & Mighty B. I hope your hinder parts (aka “the bike seat area” in a lame attempt at politeness around here) don’t complain too much…

  2. MichelleB says:

    I totally get it. I have those same thoughts. My kids are about your kids ages – and every day, every week, I feel like I need to snatch their time before they’re off living their grown up lives.

    Have a great bicycling trip. It sounds like a lot of fun.

  3. molly says:

    thx for reminding me to savor, savor, savor every minute.

    happy biking and anniversary!

  4. Leslie says:

    Oh, I’ve had the blues, too. So many endings, so many things up in the air for us, summer looming and we have no real plans. I need to snap myself out of it! Hope your bike trip is loads of fun (where will you be going?) and that when you get back, things will be looking up.

  5. I knew there was a reason for my being lazy and not planning lots of exciting things to do each summer: I wouldn’t want my kids to get burnt out on all that adventure and discovery at a young age…

    I feel sad just because my son is almost at the end of kindergarten. Whatever these maternal hormones have done to my emotions sure isn’t pretty. It’s weird, I look back and remember heading off overseas without parents at 12 and loving it. Now the thought of my kids boarding a plane without me makes me cringe. I wonder if my parents were flapping on the inside.

    Enjoy your bike trip.

  6. Such a sweet memory of watching the bird starting to stretch his wings a bit. I wonder if it will be as painful for the second one….and then the third one. It has been so long since my baby bird flew the nest, I honestly don’t even remember the pain of it anymore. That may be a defense mechanism though. Somewhere in my brain I remember feeling great pain. Stress and pain. I guess it’s been that way for time immemorial.

    Have fun on the bike trip. I am anxious to hear all the details.

    jan

  7. So impressed with the bike trip idea!! Love what you said about it too. We may have to adopt that for our anniversary this year as well. I am not sure if I can drop off Bella with my in laws for a few days but I am sure going to try, while the others are at camp this summer. Thanks for sharing. xo

  8. kristin says:

    yes reconnect!!!! it is hard you are the mom he is the dad, you become those roles and lose the you you were or are and the we and us. i love your bike! and an anniversary bike trip sounds great. yes soak up this time. and then turn the page to your new adventure.

  9. Nancy says:

    You’re right–Marshall sure looks happy about his big trip! He’ll be so happy to get home and sleep in his own bed and eat his mom’s great food. Travelling is nice, except it’s so nice to come home! There isn’t any place like home. Hope you enjoy your bike trip—good thing you stay in such great shape. Hugs, Nancy

  10. man-o-man, watching your kids grow up must be so rewarding, and as i said to anna today, very bittersweet. i hope it’s something i someday experience, even though it sounds sorta painful.

    you are already off on your trip… i hope you and hubby have a wonderful time and see the little things again that brought you together.

  11. i’m sure he will have a wonderful time…
    my oldest is between her freshman and sophomore year of high school. she has been out 2 weeks of school and is working on being away from home more than she is home this summer….
    have fun on your trip with your guy
    🙂

  12. ellen kelley says:

    Letting your babies go is never easy. Mine went so far away for so long. It was like yesterday the scare and the pain.
    It does work out to give them wings and let them go.
    As parents, isn’t that really what we want to do in the end?

    Have a wonderful trip with your beloved.

  13. threesneakybugs says:

    Hope you’re having a great bike trip! I’ve always wanted to take a bike trip. In northern MN there’s a trail where you can bike from inn to inn and they move your luggage for you.

    I’m sure it’s hard seeing Marshall test his wings. I’m not looking forward to that point with Seth. As for the rest of the summer, why do you need to be the one to come up with what to do every day? They’re old enough. Ask them for suggestions. It will inspire you to come up with some plans. At a minimum there will be some kayaking I’m sure. (warning – this suggestion has serious risk taking involved as their answer may involve the word tv or “hang”)

  14. Rachel says:

    I remember going overseas for the first time in high school – so exciting! He’ll have so much fun!

  15. jacquie says:

    had that same experience with jon last summer…and now in a couple of weeks i’ll be leaving him here in the city with his brother when hubby and i move. blue is a good description…i can’t believe the time has come.
    enjoy that bike trip!

  16. Kylie says:

    Just lovely – all of it. Thank you. 🙂

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