I’m sooooo parched!

Will this heat wave ever break?  Will I ever be able to pull out my sweaters, or turn off the cotton-pickin’ air conditioner?  Will the lawn ever stop crunching when I walk across it?  Will my cravings for ice cream and sherbet ever be replaced with cravings for oatmeal cookies and apple pie?  Will my sweat mustache ever be shaved off by cooler weather?  When will I finally stand up from the bleachers without having to pull my underwear out of my sweaty crack?  These and more burning questions…

forgive me in advance for the, well you know, the, well the sweaty crack thing.  you really didn’t want to know that.  here’s something else you may not want to know – maybe all of this heat is just the start of hot flashes.  i do have a birthday coming up next week.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Patricia says:

    Yes x6. The sweat mustache will just be a sweet memory in a few weeks. Hang in there.

  2. Lori DeMoss says:

    If the weathermen/women are correct relief is just around the corner! Hope you have a great birthday!

  3. jen says:

    you are a rockstar at blog post writings. loved this one. stay cool, hot momma!

  4. Oh, Sweetie Pie,
    You need to come back to Oregon, ASAP.
    Sweaty crack is cracking me up. Last week when we had some very warm weather, I experienced the same thing. One has to be exceptionally vigilant at the grocery store parking lot while pulling one’s undies out of one’s rear end.

  5. wonderv says:

    It’s not hot flashes, shug. It’s Missouri. Ugh! (Wonder-V pulls damp undies out of crack….)

  6. kristin says:

    a birthday? oooo, hooray for you!! (but still too young for hot flashes). i like that you say what most of us don’t have the nerve to…thanks for the big laughs!

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