consistently inconsistent

2012-10-07 14.41.34

I’ve been meaning to write a post about Adult ADD, but I got distracted. Haha. That’s an ADD joke. Except it’s not entirely funny. Instead it’s painfully true. I’ve joked over the years about being ADD. Like when I’m never on time anywhere *wink wink* it’s my adult ADD, or when I procrastinate ceaselessly or have trouble organizing my weekly menu planning *haha* it’s just my scattered ADD brain. In all seriousness however, this is what my brain feels like – it’s like trying to herd 25 kittens. I’ve cornered 3 and have put them back in the box; two are heading for the road; six are eating, one of which is eating something it shouldn’t; another one is chasing butterflies in the garden; five are taking naps; one has fallen in the toilet and is meowing for help; one needs de-wormed, but I’ve forgotten which one; two are pestering the dog and wondering why he’s pissed off and growling; and where the other four are I have no idea. And what made me start to wonder if this was really an issue for me was when I heard this story on NPR’s Talk of the Nation. The past two months I have been researching relentlessly, ironically a possible characteristic of ADDrs is when they are interested in something they will pursue it to the 9th degree. RELENTLESSLY. I have probably listened to 100 podcasts on the subject, read at least two books, taken several self-assesment tests, etc.

And it feels relieving to possibly know why I struggle so much, but it also feels kind of sad too. About a year ago during my run, where I often meditate and dialogue with God, I was lamenting my circular thinking and how screwed up I feel a lot of the time. And God clearly said to me this, “If I had wanted a world of linear thinkers I would have created a world of linear thinkers. But the world needs circular thinkers like you as well.” At the time I wasn’t considering ADD my issue, but I think through a series of connected dots I’m figuring it out. With coaching/therapy/medication my brain won’t change, but I can function better and live a bigger life. Anyway, I have an appointment with someone this Thursday to be evaluated. In the meantime if anyone is interested here is more information.

I’ve listened to every podcast by Ari Tuckman, and purchased his book, More Attention, Less Deficit.

Listened to several podcasts here, on Attention Talk Radio.

Watched some of the videos on this site, Totally ADD, where they use some great humor to help with this issue.

Found a wealth of information at chadd.org (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)

Filled out this Self-Report Scale.

Taken this self-assesment inventory. There is a fee, but I found it very helpful.

And also purchased Gina Pera’s book, Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?

One Comment Add yours

  1. golittlered says:

    Your post here is helping me to examine my own “inner demons”. I am never, ever late, meals are always ready on time and other small tasks are completed each day….BUT…I do not deal well with rushing and feeling scattered. I can easily sit still and float in my daydreams. I am terrible at organizing the mess of papers, books and THINGS. I have way too much yarn..I love to start projects, but rarely finish one up before leaping into another one. I often feel (when I take my blinders off) as if I am drowning in a sea of STUFF. It overwhelms me and therefore I do nothing about it. I am brilliant at beating myself up and feeling a failure. Intellectually I know what to do to keep on top of this, but I can’t/don’t do it. I, too, need to find my way thru. this struggle.
    I hope Thursday’s appointment brings you encouragement and some tools to make things easier/happier/more fulfilled…
    Much love.

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